[ He's making it worse. She knows he's right, that she shouldn't be shocked to hear of people here who are enhanced in ways she doesn't understand, but god, all of this is just- a lot. It's a lot. ]
so, does that mean that the only place i am allowed to feel safe is locked in my room
[ Someone is not, and has not been, handling this and the paranoia that's been following her ever since very well. ]
I look, I seriously don't mean to scare you most of the time this place is okay but
after the shit that happened on tumenalia after the shit that happened when that weirdly attractive santa came to town the garland the people turning into beasts
realistically I don't think there's a single person in this fucking city that's safe 100% of the time this place is dangerous, and it does dangerous things to everyone in it not just me, and not just to you
stop calling him santa i don't know what that means
[ Which is so not the point or at all important, but she's kind of. Very quietly losing her shit right now, it's hard to focus, and she's getting angry with herself again. ]
i am used to danger i am supposed to be used to danger, i have spent so much time fighting and almost dying and standing up so i can fight again but i can't handle the way this place works the garland the mistletoe the violation the awful people, the colour of my mark, the violation the lies the violation why are we here why are any of us here
sorry, it's this guy who comes around in winter and gives presents to people who are good it's like a holiday thing nevermind
I'm used to danger too, a lot of it, constantly, but none of it prepared me for this I don't think anyone was prepared for this You'd have to be insane to be okay with this place I don't know why we're here I don't know what they want But you're not alone in the way you feel I feel it, and I know a lot of others who feel the same way
You're strong You seem strong strong people adapt, and they keep going, and they find a way to fix things or at the very least survive them.
[ This is the sort of thing that Juniper normally says thank you to. The reassurance, that she's not alone, that it's okay to feel the way she does, that she's not actually going crazy, and the reaffirmation that maybe she's not as weak as she thinks she is.
Only it's coming from him, so she's hesitant to even accept any of it. ]
i have survived loss i have survived being torn apart, and put back together i have survived you i have survived their stupid facility their. whatever they did to me i adapted, home i adapted, here but i am tired, too
[ No, no no no she's being too open with him again, so again she stops herself from revealing anything more. Those things are reserved, for people better than Barnes. ]
those were nice words, though i wish they hadn't come from you
[ That should be the end of that. It should. She puts her phone down for a while, too, but- after she calms down, heaven help her, she picks it back up again. Loose ends. ]
i won't try to kill you, if i see you again but i would prefer not to see you again
is that understood, too?
[ Congratulations, Barnes, you've managed to talk her down from the threat of attack on sight she'd left you with the last time you spoke. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
so, does that mean
that the only place i am allowed to feel safe
is locked in my room
[ Someone is not, and has not been, handling this and the paranoia that's been following her ever since very well. ]
no subject
look, I seriously don't mean to scare you
most of the time this place is okay but
after the shit that happened on tumenalia
after the shit that happened when that weirdly attractive santa came to town
the garland
the people turning into beasts
realistically I don't think there's a single person in this fucking city that's safe 100% of the time
this place is dangerous, and it does dangerous things to everyone in it
not just me, and not just to you
no subject
[ Which is so not the point or at all important, but she's kind of. Very quietly losing her shit right now, it's hard to focus, and she's getting angry with herself again. ]
i am used to danger
i am supposed to be used to danger, i have spent so much time fighting and almost dying and standing up so i can fight again
but i
can't
handle the way this place works
the garland the mistletoe the violation the awful people, the colour of my mark, the violation the lies the violation
why are we here
why are any of us here
no subject
guy who comes around in winter and gives presents to people who are good it's
like a holiday thing
nevermind
I'm used to danger too, a lot of it, constantly, but none of it prepared me for this
I don't think anyone was prepared for this
You'd have to be insane to be okay with this place
I don't know why we're here
I don't know what they want
But you're not alone in the way you feel
I feel it, and I know a lot of others who feel the same way
You're strong
You seem strong
strong people adapt, and they keep going, and they find a way to fix things or at the very least survive them.
no subject
Only it's coming from him, so she's hesitant to even accept any of it. ]
i have survived loss
i have survived being torn apart, and put back together
i have survived you
i have survived their stupid facility
their. whatever they did to me
i adapted, home
i adapted, here
but i am tired, too
[ No, no no no she's being too open with him again, so again she stops herself from revealing anything more. Those things are reserved, for people better than Barnes. ]
those were nice words, though
i wish they hadn't come from you
no subject
no subject
i won't try to kill you, if i see you again
but i would prefer not to see you again
is that understood, too?
[ Congratulations, Barnes, you've managed to talk her down from the threat of attack on sight she'd left you with the last time you spoke. ]
no subject
Understood